Pastoral Counseling: Earning the Opportunity to Help
by Bill Bagents
Not every church leader enjoys the role of counselor. There are reasons, both sound and unsound.
Some associate “counseling” with a secular worldview. “The Bible is all sufficient. We don’t need human theories or techniques” (2 Tim 3:14–17; 2 Pet 1:2–3). It’s interesting that we don’t apply that reasoning to our physical health, financial planning, or even the maintenance of our vehicles.
Some know how much time counseling “eats.” Some elderships forbid counseling by their preachers. Others limit it to a specified number of hours per week. Acts 6:2 is cited as a guiding principle.
Some fear liability issues. Legally, there’s heightened exposure to lawsuits. Emotionally, we may experience guilt and pain over what we label as “counseling failures.” It always hurts to see people harm themselves and others (Mark 10:22–23; Matt 23:37–39).
Some are greatly burdened by the messiness, uncertainty, and unpredictability of the counseling process. It doesn’t fit Philippians 4:8.
And some wisely remind us that people have higher needs than those addressed by counseling. Sin destroys (Rom 6:23; Isa 59:1–3). Our commission is to seek and save the lost (Luke 19:10). However, some foolishly add, “We have no business wasting our time with lesser needs than eternal salvation.” That attitude smacks of unbiblical compartmentalization. It implies that God has little interest in our daily lives, the health of our relationships, and our physical wellbeing. Scripture begs to differ. While nothing matters more than the saving of souls, God cares for us—mind, body, and soul (Matt 16:26; Rom 12:9–13; James 1:27; 2:14–17). Jesus set a wonderful example of compassion across broad contexts (Matt 9:35; 14:14–21; 15:32–39; 20:29–34).
Every Christian is in the people-loving business (Matt 22:39). Every Christian is called to do good to others to the glory of God (Matt 5:16; Luke 10:30–37; Gal 6:10; 1 Pet 2:11–12). Sometimes, the broad umbrella of “doing good” will include what the world around us calls counseling.
We make no argument that we must love or even use the word “counseling.” Rather, we assert that we must stand ready to help people as needed and as ordained by God. More than that, we assert that it is an honor, a privilege, and an opportunity to be able to help others in God’s name (Matt 5:43-47; Rom 12:9–13; 2 Cor 1:3–4; Phil 4:1-3; 1 Thess 5:14).
Traditionally, articles of this type employ the phrase “earning the right to help.” Many of those articles are strong. Fundamentally, they follow the adage “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” They encourage us to live lovingly, honestly, consistently, stably, and trustworthily so that people will trust and respect us enough to let us help them in God’s name. This certainly fits the principles offered in 1 Timothy 4:12–16.
When thinking of our role in serving people in God’s name, I strongly prefer the phrase “earning the opportunity to help.” It’s an opportunity to serve Jesus (Matt 25:31–40). It’s an opportunity to walk in Jesus’ steps (Acts 10:38). It’s an opportunity to adorn the gospel (Heb 13:1–2, 16; 1 Pet 3:3–4). It’s an opportunity to show love, grow in love, and invite people to contemplate and respond to God’s love (1 John 3:16–18; 4:7–11).
Please don’t be put off by the word “earning.” Every opportunity and ability we possess is a gift of God (Phil 2:12–13). We lack the standing to earn anything from the God of all grace (Luke 17:5–10). We use “earning” from the perspective of the people whom we want to serve. We speak of showing the hurting that we are safe and harmless servants of God. We speak of enhancing their perception that it’s worth the risk to extend a measure of trust. We speak of making it more inviting to accept our offer of help.
We invite you to think of people-helping opportunities in light of Matthew 7:12. If you needed help right now, what kind of helper would you seek? What characteristics would you want that person to possess? What values would you want that person to live? What level of faith? What degree of knowledge? What type of wisdom? What grace, mercy, compassion, and love?
Whatever our answers to the questions above, we need to embody them in our own lives. That’s the only way to earn the opportunity to help others.
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